More about dreams, etc.
It's 12:30 and you have to get up for work in the morning. You decide to go to bed. So you slip under the covers, lay your head on the soft pillow, exhale and relax. You make yourself comfortable and continue to relax. Minutes later you feel the sensation that you may get when falling asleep in a class when you're just too beat (or bored) to stay awake. You feel a slight dizzy spell just before you go unconscious. Had you been in class, your head would drop thus waking you- you take a deep breath and widen your eyes hoping not to be noticed or offend your instructor.
But this time, at home in your own bed, you feel this slight dizzy spell, go unconscious, and then realize you've fallen asleep. You're aware of your bodily sensations- your head on the pillow, your arms at your sides, but you can't move at all. This in itself is terrifying, but you figure you're just so relaxed and so close to being asleep that you just won't let yourself move. Then you start hearing unearthly noises. The room is suddenly very loud and you are literally petrified.
It's been so long since this started happening that it no longer terrifies me. Though the typical "impending sense of doom" and the audible hallucinations are still there, I've been able to wake myself pretty quickly by concentrating on trying to move my fingers. Most of the time I still don't feel good about moving, and I fall back into the same state again. I have to repeat the finger thing a few times before I truly regain consciousness and realize what had been happening. Even then, I usually fall back asleep and the same thing might happen again, or when i'm waking up in the morning I'll experience a similar episode.
Most recently I woke up to my CD alarm clock playing a CD I enjoy. I didn't have to get up so I just let the CD play. I kept falling asleep and waking up to the music again. No big deal. But the last song on this CD is irritatingly bothersome to me. When this song began, I started dreaming that someone I know was singing this song along with it, and I couldn't make them stop. Then the lyrics were so clear, and had meaning that I didn't want them to have! It was torturesome! It wasn't until halfway through the song that I realized... all I have to do is wake myself up and hit that button. Finally, I did but I was so exhausted that I had to stay in bed for several more silent hours.
Love,
The City.
