Love, The City

2008-11-27T10:19:00.000-08:00

This blog done gone and moved to lovethecity.wordpress.com

And I still rarely update it!

Love,
The City.

2008-04-23T22:47:00.000-07:00

PNC Bank Online Banking and Bill Pay can save you time and money!

Yeah. It would save me time if they didn't send me emails containing lies! Lies and propaganda!!!

I hate banks.

Love email.

Love,
The City in the dark.

2008-04-22T16:03:00.000-07:00

Food of the Week!!

The food of the week this week is the least fruity of all fruits. It's the mighty green Avocado!

I get at least 2 avocados every time I go grocery shopping, and I never let one go bad. While they don't necessarily taste that great on their own, they are versatile and mesh well with other flavors. Here's what i mean by versatile; I made some chili but I had forgotten to buy cheese to put on top. So I said, Hey an avocado is fatty, soft, and yellow, why not throw that on there? And I did. And it was delicious. I'll take avocado on my chili instead of cheese any time.

Put it on a sandwich. Put it on a burger. Make soup with it. Cut it in half and eat it with a spoon.

Too bad someone already wrote the book I was going to write: The Improvisational Cook
I was going to call it Freecooking though.

Ok, so go get some avocados. You can thank me later.

Love,
The City

2008-04-08T20:04:00.000-07:00

Hey this is the first post of 2008. Aren't you excited? Well you should be because this time I'm introducing a new... segment if you will. This segment of the blog is called Food of the Week.
!

Ok Ok, I know what you're thinking... actually, no, I don't know what you're thinking. But if you knew what I was thinking, you'd already know that the food of the week is....

Banana!

The banana is the quintessential commuter's fruit. Not only is that fun to say, but it's true. The banana has been a mainstay in the knapsacks of working class and professional lunch-packers alike for, you know, a long time. Whether it be by bus, bicycle, on foot, in a car, or on various types of trains, the banana withstands the rigors of your daily commute. Go ahead, see for yourself.

Bananas are animals that travel in packs. As a banana grows it sheds its smaller peel and moves into a bigger one. A banana may do this as many as 7 times in its lifespan.

I always get the same question about bananas: 'If I don't eat my younger banana within a few days, is there any chance it will shed its peel and venture out across my counter looking for a new peel to inhabit?'

My answer is always the same: Yes.

But only if you have a bigger spare peel laying around.
Most likely they'll just turn brown.

Love,
The City

2007-09-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

just a poem. from 2004. something is wrong with my shift key.

There, there

Imagine a highway overpass.
You're standing on it,
leaning against the fence.

The passing cars
create a wind
that send your clothes
here and there.

Stop imagining the fence.
You're leaning against air
Just there.

If you look up
you'll be more scared
than if you look
down from there.
----------------------------------------------

Love,
The City

2007-09-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

I wrote this poem a few weeks ago. so tell me what you think. or don't I don't care

Dust Collecting in Houses

One disheartening thing about living in a place like this,
with all the hardwood floors, is how fast dust and debris
collects under every piece of furniture, behind every
appliance, in every corner.

It's not restricted to the floors, either. Dust builds up on
the ceiling fans, and even the ceiling itself. It's on top of
the trim over the door- its on the door- the surfaces of all
three dining room tables, and all the way up the stair case
and into the next apartment.

It's the same indoors and out;
Dust collecting in houses
and houses collecting on streets
and streets collecting on suburbs
and suburbs collecting on suburbs
and suburbs collecting collecting collecting.

Another thing is the mosquitoes. Is there anywhere they don't
live? I like the stray cats though. They wander up to the
door now and then like someone you sort of know. Ex-girlfriends
who miss you, but not that much. But not like pets you used to
own. Neither an ex-girlfriend nor and ex-pet would eat an entire dried squid.

And one time, sitting on this porch, I kept close to the citronella candle because of the wind and mosquitoes, but it didn't help.
Eventually, my pant leg proved effective when it ignited and the
smoke drove away all the mosquitoes, the bees, the stray cats,
and somehow even killed the music.
And I didn't feel like moving but eventually even I vanished.

2007-06-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

In life, accuracy counts.

I've decided to write this entry all about my new favorite movie. Now don't go making judgments if you haven't seen it. I say this because the previews that I had seen for this movie offered no insight into the movie whatsoever. The previews lead one to believe that this guy basically gets soft drinks thrown at him often, until he starts carrying a bow and arrows around with him.

Yes, the film I'm talking about is The Weather Man. This movie is Terrific. It is the funniest movie I have seen in a very long time. Some people will disagree that this movie is really a comedy. Fair enough, for it is a dark comedy, and much of the humor lies in subtleties such as Cage's priceless facial expressions throughout the movie. It is a somewhat sad movie in that Cage's character is the sort of person people love to hate, and on top of this he is struggling with his personal failures and blunders. But to me its that kind of Curb Your Enthusiasm type humor that keeps this movie movin' along. But make no mistake, this is not just shallow comedy. It's about a guy trying to rebuild his life from the shambles he's made for himself. A screwy but well-meaning schmuck trying to patch things up with his family and make his dad proud.

Notable features of the movie that make me love it:

extensive use of the word "fuck"
Cage's acting- the self pity and general dorky-ness makes the humor happen.
Archery
Spritz's dad
too many other things to even try to talk about.

and this:
"Here's something that if you want your father to think you're not a silly fuck, don't slap a guy across the face with a glove because if you do that, that's what he will think. Unless you're a noble man or something in the nineteenth century. Which I am not."

Love, The City

2007-05-21T23:53:00.000-07:00

More about dreams, etc.

It's 12:30 and you have to get up for work in the morning. You decide to go to bed. So you slip under the covers, lay your head on the soft pillow, exhale and relax. You make yourself comfortable and continue to relax. Minutes later you feel the sensation that you may get when falling asleep in a class when you're just too beat (or bored) to stay awake. You feel a slight dizzy spell just before you go unconscious. Had you been in class, your head would drop thus waking you- you take a deep breath and widen your eyes hoping not to be noticed or offend your instructor.

But this time, at home in your own bed, you feel this slight dizzy spell, go unconscious, and then realize you've fallen asleep. You're aware of your bodily sensations- your head on the pillow, your arms at your sides, but you can't move at all. This in itself is terrifying, but you figure you're just so relaxed and so close to being asleep that you just won't let yourself move. Then you start hearing unearthly noises. The room is suddenly very loud and you are literally petrified.

It's been so long since this started happening that it no longer terrifies me. Though the typical "impending sense of doom" and the audible hallucinations are still there, I've been able to wake myself pretty quickly by concentrating on trying to move my fingers. Most of the time I still don't feel good about moving, and I fall back into the same state again. I have to repeat the finger thing a few times before I truly regain consciousness and realize what had been happening. Even then, I usually fall back asleep and the same thing might happen again, or when i'm waking up in the morning I'll experience a similar episode.

Most recently I woke up to my CD alarm clock playing a CD I enjoy. I didn't have to get up so I just let the CD play. I kept falling asleep and waking up to the music again. No big deal. But the last song on this CD is irritatingly bothersome to me. When this song began, I started dreaming that someone I know was singing this song along with it, and I couldn't make them stop. Then the lyrics were so clear, and had meaning that I didn't want them to have! It was torturesome! It wasn't until halfway through the song that I realized... all I have to do is wake myself up and hit that button. Finally, I did but I was so exhausted that I had to stay in bed for several more silent hours.

Love,
The City.

2007-04-13T12:47:00.000-07:00

I know you've come across a complete stranger and immediately judge them as being a total jerkface. I want you to tell me what this Jerk-stranger did to make you think that. I'll give an example below.

Particular traffic maneuvers. (I hate the one where they want to turn left on a busy street, so they pull out and block 2 lanes while they wait for the next one to clear for them. Meanwhile, maybe two or maybe twenty cars miss the light at the next corner because this asshole doesn't understand that roads aren't designed for individuals, but for TRAFFIC FLOW!)

So when was the last time you cussed out a total stranger(or wanted to)? tell me why!

Every now and then I have an urge to spit saliva out of my mouth, and onto the ground. I know this is rude, and so I've come up with a few rules as to when spitting is acceptable and when it isn't. Also, a few guidelines as to when/where you can pour out that old coffee or soda that's sitting in your car's cup holder...

Spitting is OK:
-within 15 feet of any dumpster, excluding 'Recyclables Only', especially 'cardboard only'.
(ok if there are both recycle and regular dumpsters next to each other)
-in your own driveway, but not an apartment parking lot or shared lot
-in a public parking lot, but NOT a store parking lot, especially if the lot is shared by several stores.
-Any mall parking lot outside of city limits, any and all parking garages excluded.
-in a liquor store parking lot, especially if it shares a lot with a Bingo hall.
-while descending outdoor stairs unless they are made completely of concrete, or are surrounded by only concrete(and/or flowerbeds, outdoor furniture, or other outdoor decor)
-anywhere in the woods(PARCOURS included), unless you are on a nature trail or hike, especially a mushroom foray. I can't stress this enough.
-while playing any sporting event, excluding Horse racing, table tennis or especially ping pong.
-while coaching any such sporting team, excluding soccer and American football.(to clarify, spitting in grass, especially artificial, is generally discouraged)
-while playing Racquetball, but not Squash, and only if bleeding(anywhere).
-while fighting; All fights versus animals excluded, and only if you're losing.
-on the side of any road, while walking, jogging, or biking. Driving and rollerblading are excluded for obvious reasons.

The guidelines for drink/ice pouring are more straight forward.
-If its just ice, it can go almost anywhere. Let's exclude anywhere that people are expected to be walking(sidewalks,paths,stairs,etc), and almost any type of parking lot, but not grass unless it's artificial or part of a playing field. Any grass anywhere outside of an actual playing field is fine.
-pouring coffee is always acceptable in a Starbucks parking lot, but never any other parking lot unless you pay to park there. Almost anything goes in this case, unless they park AND retrieve your car for you.
-Your own driveway is actually NOT OK. You're a real jerk if you pour anything into your own driveway. This does not apply if your driveway is gravel or dirt. Pouring almost anything into your own yard is fine. This excludes anything flammable(JERK!), unless you plan on igniting it(AWESOME!)(see "rules of disposal" for more detailed info).
-disposing of any paper/plastic cup with liquid in it in a garbage can is unacceptable, unless you are at Starbucks. sealed bottles excluded.

ok thats all i got for ya. I'd be glad to give you some jerko guidelines if you give me a starter. ie: "this jerk smashed a bottle over his head right in the middle of a public park!"
I'll be back with glass smashing guidelines later.

2006-11-27T08:48:00.000-08:00

cincinnadio

This is my response to a recent blog posted by Sara at www.saraknowsbest.com
Why are you still reading this? You should be at www.saraknowsbest.com you dumbass!

Ok. This is an exact copy of the comment I left there, so you may have already read it. Talk about effortless blog reading. I made it easy for you this time. ok, so give me more Cincinnati radio insight if you have it.

"
If you ever worked somewhere where all they did was play the same radio station all day, you'd really hate the wiz. and all other radio stations for that matter, other than NPR. And doesn't the new Mojo play Soul now? Isn't that pretty rad? I've only heard it for a few minutes but the first song was pretty jammin.

so here's my new formula for Cincinnat radio satisfaction:
Toggle between the new mojo for the occasional danceable soul song, 97.3 for some blind melon and candelbox (maybe you prefer depeche mode and the cure?). Hit up the wiz when you must, but don't forget about the 88's. 88.3 and 88.7 or whatever. WAIF and whatever the other one is play some interesting stuff sometimes. Also, and bear with me on this one, Q102. They've been playing some decent 90's hits these days. A couple weeks ago there was at least 4 songs in a row that I could bear, even 'jam' to. They included Baby Got Back by Sir Mix a lot and I Saw the Sign by Ace of Base. Not songs I'd usually listen to, but given the condition of Cincinnati radio, you have to give Q102 credit for deviating a little...or maybe it's just that they haven't changed their playlists in 10-15 years, so they're coming back into style a little bit.And it doesn't hurt to listen to NPR when you have time, to find programs that you like. Then you can remember what time that show is on, and you can listen to it instead of garbage when you have to make some half hour drive across town. hope this helps.
"
Love, the city

2006-10-20T17:40:00.000-07:00

Nothing Too Serious...

here's an ancient American Proverb:
Chicago winter blows. It's windy, and it sucks.

Last year I drove to Chicago around this time by myself to see Laura Veirs somewhere in Lincoln Park. Let me tell you, it was cold as Antarctica's ass. I froze my dick off.

no seriously...my dick is somewhere on a Chicago sidewalk or frozen still to the bottom of a bum's shoe.

OK, so I wanted to mention some of the music that I've been listening to a lot lately. Here's a list. You should check some out.......

Alexi Murdoch- Time Without Consequence...... Pretty mellow, similar to Nick Drake
Laura Veirs............ this needs no introduction.
Natacha Atlas....... I haven't heard a lot of her stuff, but what I have heard fucking rules. understand.
Sam Prekop. it's the shit.

ok that's enough for now. Check ya

lovethecity

2006-10-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

I like the word "anomaly"
...and thirty dollar haircuts

The other day at work, my boss used the word "anomaly". I don't remember what she was talking about, but for all intents it is no longer necessary to know. It aroused my interest as the use of some words will do. I couldn't remember exactly what it meant at first, so my co-worker told me to look it up. So I pulled up dictionary.com and checked it out. To paraphrase the definition, it means 'a deviation from the norm'.

This word has come in quite handy lately, and has been particularly amusing when I use it at work. When I say 'amusing' I mean that I was amused by it. It is doubtful that anyone else has been amused by my vocabulary. I have, however, been able to use it effectively in conversation with my boss at least three times this past week and it did evoke some joviality.

Let's move on. I've been getting my hair cut at a prominent and reputable Cincinnati salon, located in Northside. Actually, I have no idea if they're reputable or prominent, but to me their prices evoke such esteem. This past week I needed to get a little trim. I'm trying to allow my hair to grow a bit longer, but you know how it goes. The hair just gets thicker and sloppier for a while there before the desired result is achieved. To make a long story short, I find out that I can just make an appointment for a "maintenance" cut and they won't even charge for it. But for some reason I still got charged full price for this cut. Even though I was only in there for a few minutes and my neck was basically broken after sitting in the hair washing chair thing. Usually I can bare the neck pain because I thoroughly enjoy getting my hair washed by a third party individual. But my usual stylist is a girl, and this guy was, well, a guy. He just didn't quite have the touch. But I must admit, he gave me some useful information and his professionalism reminded me of my own. ha sike I don't know what that means. but he was professional and that was good.

I'll leave you now with a quote. I don't remember who originally said it, but I heard it from a hilarious co-worker. "You can lead a West-sider to a hair salon, but you can't make him get his hair cut."
sure, it's just a variation on some ol' cliche shit but it's so Cincinnati appropriate that I had to include it. And the (semi)final concluding remark is: Don't ever go to Great Clips. Six dollars for a haircut is not a deal, it's an anomaly.

Love,
The City.

2006-07-17T22:52:00.000-07:00

I was about 13 years old when this happened. I had just fallen asleep, but then I woke up. I was alone in my room and it was dark. I heard this strange repeating sound that resembled an unusually high voice, kind of alien-like. Needless to say I was scared as hell, and the sound kept getting louder and faster. It felt like someone or something was in the room and was getting closer and closer to me. I wanted to roll over and maybe put the pillow over my head, but when I tried to do it I couldn't move. I figured I was just so scared that I wouldn't let myself move. So I tried to relax and tried it again, but still I couldn't move at all. Eventually I was able to move, and the sound was gone.

I jumped from the bed and turned the light on. I think I even went into my parents' room like I did when I was 6 and having a bad dream. I sat on my bed just looking around my room, still scared as hell. A couple friends and I had been messing with a Ouija board a day or two before that, so I thought we might have pissed off some ghost or something. Even though I didn't really believe in stuff like that, it was the only explanation I could think of. I think I eventually got back to sleep peacefully that night, but I still remember that terrifying night pretty vividly.

After having a number of similar, though not nearly as terrifying, episodes over the next few years, I somehow came across a post on LiveJournal describing a very similar experience. The author attributed it to a condition called "Sleep Paralysis". It's also referred to as "Awareness during Sleep Paralysis."

Upon further research, I discovered that it is a relatively common occurance, though some people get it more often than others. I read about it on Wikipedia. Here's the link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

But if you don't feel like reading that I'll quote a bit from it below:
"Sleep paralysis is a condition characterized by paralysis of the body shortly after waking up (known as hypnopompic paralysis) or, less often, shortly before falling asleep (known as hypnagogic paralysis). Physiologically, it is closely related to the normal paralysis that occurs during REM sleep, also known as REM atonia."

Hmm, that explains the not being able to move..

"In addition, this state is usually accompanied by certain specific kinds of hallucinations."
Among the hallucinations cited are:

"Most common
Vividness
Fear

Common
Sensing a "presence" (often malevolent)
Pressure/weight on body (especially the chest). See for example the painting in the beginning of this article.
A sensation of not being able to breathe
Impending sense of doom/death
Fairly common Auditory hallucinations (often footsteps or indistinct voices, or pulsing noises). Auditory hallucinations which are described as noise instead of hallucinations of legible sounds, are often described to be similar to auditory hallucinations caused by Nitrous Oxide by persons who have experienced both. Visual hallucinations such as lights, people or shadows walking around the room "

Fear, impending sense of doom, indistinct voices, pulsing noises, shadows walking around the room. I've experienced all these, and its fuckin scary. I still experience this sometimes. Its never as scary as it was the first few times when I didn't know what was happening. It's more of a nuisance now, but it still scares me while it's happening. I don't usually hear the sounds anymore, which was probably the scariest of all.

I just found some info about people using the awareness during sleep paralysis as a gateway to Out of Body Experiences or Lucid Dreams. I'm pretty interested in dreams and different states of consciousness and experiences in general, so I think I'll read up on this stuff and see how I can scare the shit out of myself some more. I mean enjoy it. Oh yea, and Wikipedia says that almost everyone will experience Sleep Paralysis at least once or twice in their lifetime, so if you've ever experienced it please do tell me about it. Right here on this blog even. That's what blogs are for, communication. So do it!

I hope you enjoyed the longest blog ever. I just wanted to talk about this thing which bothers me, yet intrigues me. I hope I don't become narcoleptic though.

Love,
TheCity

2006-02-18T13:15:00.000-08:00

Hi there. I guess this is my blogger blog or blogspot spot. Today I'd like to talk about the word "pretentious". Apparently I just now learned how to spell it. Gotta have that dictionary.com tab open, ya know? Alright, my browser doesn't support tabs. I have a bumper sticker on my Internet [Ford] Explorer that says "I'd rather be using Mozilla". A little iHumor for ya.

Ok so what's with people using the word "pretentious" all the time. It seems like people who use that word a lot are being verbally pretentious. I know a lot of words AND I can use them correctly in everyday speech! look at me go!

I'm only joshing around. I don't think I know of any one person that overuses the word. I've just heard or seen it many times in the past week or two. Plus I encounter more people with the opposite problem. That is, lack of verbal skills and vocabulary.

So this is just an Intro to my blogger blog. It's called Love, the City. 'The City' is also my blogger ID. Get it? Anyhow, I suppose most of my posts will be in a similar format to this one, broken down as follows:

First I greet the reader, then I introduce the topic of the day's post.
Next I stray off-topic, talk about myself, and/or make stupid jokes.
Then I come back to the topic, make a poorly planned point, and maybe mock a hypothetical person.
After that, I make another point which is incongruous with my first point, or totally discounts it all together.
So I've made a perfect circle of idiocy, and at the end I say:

Love, The City